Dividing Cremated Remains Among Family Members

One of the advantages of cremation is the flexibility it provides families when deciding what to do with a loved one’s remains.

While some families choose to keep the cremated remains together in a single urn, others decide to divide them. This allows different family members to keep a portion, scatter remains in different meaningful locations, or choose more than one form of memorialization.

If your family is considering dividing cremated remains, there are a few things worth knowing.

Who Decides What Happens to the Cremated Remains?

In British Columbia, the right to control the disposition of a deceased person is established by law.

Generally, the first right belongs to the personal representative named in the deceased’s will. If there is no person able or willing to act in that role, the right passes through a hierarchy established under BC law, beginning with the spouse and then adult children and other relatives.

Because the circumstances of each family can be different, the funeral home will determine who has legal authority to provide instructions before cremated remains are divided or released.

Once the cremated remains have been released to the person with the legal right to control them, that person is generally responsible for decisions about their final disposition.

How Are Cremated Remains Divided?

Cremated remains can be divided into almost any proportion. They do not have to be divided equally.

For example, most of the remains might be placed in one urn while small portions are placed in keepsake urns for other family members. Alternatively, a family may divide them between two or more full-sized urns or reserve a portion for scattering.

Although families can divide cremated remains themselves after receiving them, many prefer to have the funeral home do it for them. We have the appropriate equipment and containers to transfer the remains carefully and can divide them according to the family’s instructions.

It also avoids the “awkwardness” some feel about handling cremated remains.

Choosing Containers

The appropriate container depends largely on how much of the cremated remains each person will receive and what they intend to do with them.

Common choices include:

• Full-sized urns for larger portions of the cremated remains;
• Keepsake urns designed to hold a smaller amount;
• Matching sets of urns for families who want several containers in the same style;
• Scattering urns or tubes if some of the remains will be scattered; and
• Cremation jewelry, which can hold a very small symbolic portion of the remains.

Families are also welcome to provide their own suitable containers.

Do the Cremated Remains Have to Be Divided Equally?

No. There is no requirement that each person receive the same amount.

For many families, the division is based on what each person intends to do with their portion. One family member might keep a larger urn at home while others receive small keepsakes. Another portion might be buried, placed in a cemetery niche or scattered somewhere meaningful.

This flexibility makes it possible for family members to remember the same person in different ways.

A Personal Decision

There is no right or wrong answer when deciding whether cremated remains should stay together or be divided.

Some people feel strongly that the remains should remain in one place. Others find comfort in having a small portion close to them, particularly when family members live in different communities or countries.

Religious traditions can also influence this decision. Not all faiths permit or encourage cremated remains to be divided, scattered or kept in the home. If religious observance is important to you or your loved one, we recommend speaking with your pastor, clergy member or spiritual advisor before deciding how the cremated remains will be handled.

The important thing is to have the conversation and choose an arrangement that works for your family while respecting the wishes, beliefs and traditions that are important to you.

At A Simple Cremation, we can divide cremated remains into multiple containers as part of your arrangements and explain the different urn and keepsake options available. If you have questions about dividing cremated remains or our cremation services, please call or text us at (604) 809-2006.